This is for you

Ok. Entry kali ni agak lebih personal kerana ia ditujukan khas utk seorang yg aku baru kenal. Mungkin sgt baru utk aku jatuh cinta. Tp entahlah. Aku memang senang jatuh cinta. Tp xbermakna cinta aku tu xbernilai langsung.

Ok. FYI, The moment i let u in to my life, i was looking forward to having a serious relationship with you. No games at all. Honestly from beneath my heart. I love u. But as the time goes by, day by day seems morbid. I don't know what to do. I mean, I do have u, the person i loved besides me. But why is this feeling of uncertainty taint me so much. Mcm aku ragu2, nak ke x nk. But don't get me wrong. the moments we shared was never a lie. Walaupun jauh. I appreciate every second we've spent. Seriously.

Tp.. bila keadaan ku mcm mendesak aku utk fokus ke satu arah. Aku seakan2 lupa yg lain. Maafkan aku. Aku manusia biasa. Tak berdaya. Bukan nk lupakan terus. It's just that i've been through a lot in my life and i need to focus on something which is much prior to my life. Don't get me wrong again, u are important. U will always be.
Cuma aku perlukan benda nie dalam hidup supaya aku x kelaut nanty. Which is my studies. Yes i know. It's a lame excuse. Nk focus study.. bla bla bla.. Tp aku da extend setaun kot! xkan nk main2 lg! gila apa weh! UiTM ni bukan bapak aku punya!

And then kita makin jauh.. I busy dgn my work, U busy dgn life u.. Kita makin xmengenali each other walaupun the fact is kita xpernah mengenali each other secara mendalam pun. Getting to know u is one of the many points in my life that i am grateful for. Then suddenly u mintak clash. I terdiam. Bukan sebab sedih. Memang lah sedih. Tp i was thinking something more than that. Is this the best way to stop us from hurting each other? If it is. Then i am willing to let u go cause i can't see u in pain anymore dear. So know this, everything was not a lie. And we were never meant to be together i guess..


Life is painful.